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Are you a loser?


+31 votes
5,072 views

Wow, that's a harsh question, isn't it? A loser. Nobody wants to be that.

Unfortunately it's an all too common attitude. I see it all the time. People who assume that they will never succeed because they tried once and failed. So success must be beyond their reach.

But there's a loser attitude that's even worse than that. Let me give you a real life example of what I mean.

(Before I continue, let me say that my purpose in this example isn't to call out anybody. My purpose in writing this is to demonstrate the kind of attitude that will surely lead to failure and that is to be avoided at all costs. If you see any of the attitude that follows in yourself, work hard to get rid of it fast – it will be your downfall.)

Okay, on to the story...

There was a member here at the Q&A who sent some feedback via the contact form. Let me just quote the feedback:

"I did not like the answers I got so I quit this forum. I wish to be no part of promoting lies and scams"

Yup, that was their feedback in its entirety.

Naturally I wanted to know what "lies and scams" this person was being fed, so I looked up his account history. The whole of his experience here involved him asking only two questions. That's it. Just two. He hadn't answered any questions or participated in any other meaningful way.

The wording of his first question made it clear that his attitude was already negative toward Internet Marketing. He basically asked if it was really possible to make any money doing that kind of promotion because nobody he knew was successful at it, and the only person who was "successful" was a "rip-off artist."

Of course many people jumped in and responded very positively, saying how it is possible, but it takes work, dedication, etc., that many people are unwilling to put out. They were encouraging, telling him not to give up, keep trying, and so on. Very nice answers I thought.

And then I got the member's feedback. He was quitting because everyone was lying to him and pitching scams.

Um, ok.

This member seems to have felt that because he was unsuccessful, and hung out with unsuccessful people, that everyone must be unsuccessful and therefore lying to him when they said they were doing well.

That, my friend, is a loser attitude.

That attitude must be avoided at all costs if you want to succeed. Thomas Edison tried over 1,000 forms of light bulbs before finally developing the one that worked. Had he adopted this member's attitude I'd probably be typing this out in the dark or by candlelight.

You have to believe that you will make it. No, not believe, you have to know that you will succeed because you are never going to quit until you are successful!

That's a winner's attitude. You can make it, you will make it. Maybe not today, maybe not this week or this month, but you are going to learn and try and work until you achieve your dreams. There is no other acceptable outcome.

You're a winner. Be a winner. Think like a winner. And by all means ONLY hang out with people who have that same mentality.

Will you have failures? Yes.

Will you waste money and time trying? Yes.

Will there be heartbreaking moments when you want to give up? YES!

But you won't give up. When you fall down, you will get up. You will press on. You will do this because you are a winner and there is no other acceptable outcome. You must live your dream. You will.

There is no other acceptable outcome.

Don't want to succeed. Don't try to succeed. Just make it happen!

You know you're a winner. I know you're a winner. Now go show the world!

Here's to YOUR success!

Jon

asked Sep 10, 2013 in Internet Marketing by jonathanleger (20,200 points)  
featued question
Thank you Jon,
thats a great article, enjoyed reading it, basically the only success formula you need, wished i had a couple of buddies who think like that
Hi Jon,

A heart-felt "Thank you" for this article.  I dont do a lot of forum interaction, maybe I should do more.  I just get on with running my business (1 IM related, 1 unrelated), so I dont spend a lot of time engaging here.  But I am thankful for this article.

With this article, sure, we might already know it, but its like a shot in the arm, or a coffee or a slap round the face to make us focus again - we need reminding periodically.  Or to use Zig Ziglar's words, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily."

Its good to get that shot in the arm, that 'bath'.  So, thank you!

Duncan Elliott
I have a family member who thinks that just because he lives paycheck to paycheck and has bad credit that the little guy can't make it in America anymore.
I think in every failure we experience in life, I do not consider that a loss as I learned from it. It's just a matter of how you treat things happening around you.
Quitters never wins. And the other hand, failing things you did is not the end of the world. It's just that you tried something and you've learn something new on the process which we call it EXPERIENCE.

Once you have those file of experience, creating your own system that suits to your attitude and capability will be the next procedure. And this time, you have a high percentage of reaching the goals or dreams that you really want so badly when you got started.

27 Answers

+2 votes
from My experience we can all learn from our experiences wether you ended up as a loser or a winner. In some cases i have learned more from my looser experiences than i have from my winner ones !!
answered Sep 10, 2013 by geofflord (460 points)  
I don't see any failure as a "loser experience." Failures are good teachers. They show you how NOT to do things so you know what not to do in the future. To me, "loser" is an attitude, not an experience. Life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you look at it.

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+2 votes
These really are words of wisdom Jon, above and beyond Internet Marketing. It takes that kind of attitude to succeed no matter what you've got your heart set on.

It's his loss really.
answered Sep 10, 2013 by Bradberry1 (3,290 points)  
+2 votes

I've always said that the opposite of success is not failure. It is inaction.

Failure can be every bit as rewarding as getting something right. I've made money by telling people about my own mistakes and showing them how to avoid them. I've taught people how to do things the right way, because I learned by doing them the wrong way.

How hard should you try to achieve something? Well how hard did you work to learn to walk? Every time you fell down, you tried again. And again. And again. And....well, you get the idea. You kept going until you achieved your goal. The thought of stopping never entered your head.

Setbacks are just part of the learning process....

It's been said that entire wars have been won by the side that lasted just an hour longer than the losers. Although I'm not keen on the violent image that portrays, there is a truth that hanging in there is often the difference between make and break, success and "failure".

Reminds me of when my kids were little and planted some seeds in the garden. They went out the next day, saw that nothing had grown and gave up. If they'd kept tending to those seeds, watering them and allowing them time to germinate, they would have seen something amazing a few months later.

"Aw, dad, they didn't work."

No, my kids didn't work.

And yes, I made them continue, of course, but it is very easy to blame something outside ourselves for our level of success, or lack of it. It's nearly always a cop-out.

To rephrase what Jon said and put it in the words of Yoda "Do. Or do not. There is no try."

So go out there and do. People less skilled and educated than you are succeeding every day. Why shouldn't you?

Oh, and the scam and hype merchants? They are definitely out there, for sure. Consider it the price of your education and learn to spot them so you can avoid them. 

 


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answered Sep 10, 2013 by AminM (1,000 points)  
+2 votes
Great answer Jon and so very true. If you remove the IM element for a moment and just look at this from a life perspective it's the same principle- dont give up. We naturally fear the unknown but that doesn’t mean we can’t achieve more or better ourselves.
 
You only have to look the following list and ask can you do any of them?
 
Talk
Walk
Ride a bike
Drive a car
Swim
Speak another language
 
This list could go on and on but if you can do any of those things at one point you couldn’t but did you give up? - no, could you do it straight away? - no it took practice and determination. You wouldn’t turn around to a child learning to walk and say right that's it lets give up he can't walk he's been trying for weeks and he's not walking. 
 
You have to learn to walk in IM and it takes time and everyone learns at different rates so some will be faster than others. If you stop trying then one thing is certain - no further progress. Are there conmen in IM? - yes but there are also conmen in every business field, but there are good people in IM too just like in other business spheres. Remember you will get out what you put in so whether you think you are a failure or a successful person but you are currently neither. Then one thing that is certain, which one you focus on the most you will become.
 
IM success - the closely guarded secret laid out here as I see it
 
1. Willingness to learn
2. Having an interest in something
3. Discipline
4. Follow successful people
5. Stay away from shiny objects – pick one thing stick with it until you master it
6. Stay away from negative people and be positive
7. Learn from your mistakes
8. Keep moving forward - don’t give up at the first failure you will have many
9. Small amount of seed capital to invest in your education
10.Discipline - I know I said it twice it's important
answered Sep 10, 2013 by mark (3,250 points)  
+1 vote

Thanks Jon for this post of yours. I remember when I was first introduced to IM. I can still remember the words of the guy who introduced me to IM. "Make sure you don't quit. You may not see results as fast as you would like to. Maybe your breakthrough is just around the corner the very day you quit".

He was right. It took me 4 months to earn my first $31.95 in Internet marketing. Withing the next 2 weeks, I have made more than the minimum of $100 for payment. Later I was receiving payments weekly.

PLEASE LISTEN TO JON. DON'T BE A LOSER!

answered Sep 10, 2013 by Buxykay (15,690 points)  
+1 vote
Sad but also understandable. There are so many "make a million by tomorrow at 10AM" offers around it can be hard for a beginner to keep the faith. God knows I wasted money, time, and faith in my fellow man when I first began my adventures.

Speaking only for myself, my "failures" with some of these offereings almost made me give up too. I was about convinced that the fault was with me somehow. Fortunately cooler heads prevailed and I kept at it.

I think this poor unfortunate is frustrated and disillusioned and took it out on the nearest target.

 

I
answered Sep 10, 2013 by Jesse (220 points)  
I don't think it's "understandable." To be expected, yes, but not understandable. Success is a choice. None of the responses he received told him he could make a million by tomorrow at 10AM. He got solid, helpful answers from real people who were succeeding and rejected them. That was a CHOICE. It's the choice that gets made when one has a loser attitude. I truly hope that individual can change their attitude and succeed in life, whatever it is that they do. Because having that failure mentality will affect them in every aspect of their existence, not just IM.

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I don't disagree with anything you have said at all. But I do have some sympathy for his frustration. I suspect his rude, defeatist response had much more to do with that than anything else.
You're probably right, and it's very sad. I do hope the best for that person in the future.

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It is easy to see and hear what you want to see and hear. I have never had an "easy" time of succeeding online. I will say the steps are easy as the ads say- it's just that there are a lot of easy steps that have to be executed in the right order. Nothing easy about setting proper objectives and following through without being distracted.
+1 vote

Great Story. It is understandable how one gets tainted with that type of attitude. But to be fair the "Internet Marketing" genre is not unique to either scams or lies. It could be said about any area of our culture from politics to medicine, from sports to art, from electronics to fuel. There is always a way to get flim flammed.

However, as you point out Jon- and geofflord, Buxykay, Bradberry1, Jesse it matters most the resolve you harbour for your endeavor. The integrity and passion you express in the way that you deal with your clients, customers and peers.

 

We must always press on- and on, and on... and learn from adversity. That makes us winners!

 

answered Sep 10, 2013 by vitaware (4,210 points)  
+1 vote

Man! Please Jon, tell me: who is your ghost writer? Can he write me a self development ebook? It'd sell millions! laugh

Now, talking seriously: I like your words. Actually, I guess many guys like me are here, every day, falling and standing up, sometimes earning money. sometimes trying to survive. And, unfortunately, when "we are losing", we didn't listen such words.

It's easy to believe on you when you are winning, but when you start to lose, doubts arrive - and stick. I've already said here my Adsense earnings dropped to 21%! But I didn't give up. And it isn't easy, because I don't have a job, but I'm studying in a Master program, so I don't have too much time available.

IF there is something else I can say is: You don't lose when things fail, but you lose when you give up.

Losers give up!

(Hey, I didn't have increased font size yet! Did I earn a badge? :-) )

answered Sep 10, 2013 by Christiano (49,030 points)  
Let's create a wealth mindset?
+1 vote
Speaking for myself only. I always try to take something positive out of everything I do, sometimes I fail, but it makes me that much more determined to start again, and perhaps take what ever obstacle that might be in my current path, and work around it till I can succeed.

I think if I made a ton of money tommorrow,  I would still continue doing this type of work, as I enjoy it soo much.

I hope that person might consider coming back here to the forum, and learn instead of giving up so easily. Perhaps IM is not for them, but there are tons of other niches out there, and surely they fit into one of them. Everyone does.

Libby
answered Sep 10, 2013 by libby (23,340 points)  
Hey, I'm 65 and still have to motivate myself, even though I am retired. I was a salesman one way or another for 40 years, every morning you woke up was a new day, didn't matter what happened yesterday, it was history. Don't live in the past, it's there for you to recall the failures, and the success and how you achieved them, you learn by both.

Now for my sins I am an affiliate marketer, and boy have I done it wrong at times, five years I have been up and down like a yoyo, Google can be Santa at times, so keep at it you never know when it's going to be Christmas.

Perhaps the fella in question, will hopefully have a look at the forum again, we can't all be crooks pal and there's no easy way, it's all about hard work, imagination, determination and a lot of fun thrown in.

Keep it happy, if you clients raise a smile whilst reading your blog, then your'e getting something right. Come back to the fold, persevere, you might one day enjoy it.
I am in a similar position,similar age,lots of sales experience,and really enjoying Internet Marketing.
Regards
John Hayes
+1 vote
I need to say that, we should support this member first because we are here to learn and gain new friends, second because he behave such attitude because he faced many problems throughout the internet business, so i think Jon could play an important role with this man, he could support him , learning him how to be successful IM , Jon do somethings good like his project with Kiva, so may i suggest Jon to give him an opprtunity to be one of his affiliates and increase percentage only for him if he can achieve sales( why not). My concept is better to acquire new friend or even same jon mate not to lose a competitor. This one if we thing deeply in his case is very poor, not because he didn't achieve money but because he became dispersion person, so we should help him if we can.

SORRY FOR THIS ANSWER BUT ONLY PUT WHAT I FELT WHEN READING THE POST.
answered Sep 11, 2013 by shawa (18,850 points)  
edited Sep 11, 2013 by shawa
no . iam the winner because god always helpme. and god bless you and me .infact goto we must dream it and plan and action. i like your
statement and you always make me happy to get money from internet
sorry jon
i cannot article because i donnot have credit card
i need more money because i do not h ave money
would you mind teaching me money from internet without credit card and teach me about how to make website
0 votes
I partly agree with you. Sometimes, to give up is a wise decision. If you feel that the task you are trying to do is not your cup of tea, then you should not be rigid and must give up, just to try an another way out. Any when your guts genuinely tell you that this is what you can do, then in that case you should never give up. Exploring many things to find the gem is life.

Building Back Links is a Tedious Task. Make it Simple. Click Here to Learn How.

answered Sep 10, 2013 by Bittukishu (840 points)  
I'm not talking about giving up on a process or a task. Failure is an inevitable part of success. You learn from it and move on. I'm talking about an attitude. Thinking that you'll NEVER succeed and assuming that nobody else is either. Letting go of a process that is failing is often the course of wisdom. Letting go of your dreams never is.

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You are absolutely right. However, very often people knowingly or unknowingly focus on the process it self. Let me give you an example.
One of my friends is in MLM business. He enrolled me in his down line. I sincerely tried and found that it does not suit my personality,  and I quit. For me it was a wise decision to move forward. But he looked at me like a looser. He was merely focused on the process,  and I was looking it as a matter of my personality,  an attitude.
By the way thanks for the reply.

Building Back Links is a Tedious Task. Make it Simple. Click Here to Learn How.

Giving up? I prefer to call it "change of strategy" or "adjusting the plan"
0 votes

Totally a great motivation! Sometimes I do lost in what I do, in marketing and in real life, but I guess we can't simply give up and surrender. Give our best and love in what we do, we will definitely find success.angel


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answered Sep 10, 2013 by anamel (12,110 points)  
0 votes
The person who left the forum has obviously been burnt and didn't find the right people to help them. When you are down it is the hardest time to build strength and that is the time you need it most. It takes strength to never, never give up. It's easy for it to all get confusing when you don't understand a lot about it. Then one day the fog clears a bit.

Open to inspire others and receive knowledge.

Janny    blush

answered Sep 10, 2013 by ausgirl (380 points)  
0 votes
Hi Jon, I have only asked two or three questions but in doing so and reading other questions and answers have received some invaluable advice and comments, some of which I have acted on and got the result that I needed. I think the forum is a great source of information and have recommended it to quite a few of my friends. Thanks to you and all the other participants. Anitaku

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answered Sep 10, 2013 by Anitaku (2,260 points)  
0 votes
Maybe he or she was having a bad day!  We have all had them and even positive advice and encouragement don't lift our spirits.  Jon I agree with what you say...we need positive people around us and not negative, unfortunatley the average person around us (eg those that don't know anything about IM) think its a dream,  so often its a lonely road and when you buy WSO's that promise the easy money and it doesnt happen straight away it can be hard to imagine it can work.  I would assume that this person has probably tried many methods and not really seen one through and therefore now thinks its all a scam.....not hard to believe  if you keep buying and not implementing.  I think we have all been guilty of that at sometime. I gave up on IM for 3mths in the early stage before I came back with fresh eyes (and head) and started working with a plan and disipline
answered Sep 10, 2013 by pinkpoppy31 (6,490 points)  
0 votes
Failure...most of us here are familiar with that word.  Including myself and you Jon.  I can see where this person is coming from. The whole IM experience is rife with scams, lies, hype, mis-information, half-truths and bull cr*p piled higher than a 20 story building in the middle of the desert.

I do not think he is a loser at all.  He is a human being trying to figure out where it all leads too.  He has been burned, lied to and now thinks this online money making thing is all a big SCAM.  And in most cases he is right.  

He may well be very successful offline or has a decent paying job but wants out.  His attitude was the results of past experience.  

As good as this forum is it will likely not help his distrust for more of the same thing!

A REAL loser is someone who never tried in the first place.

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answered Sep 10, 2013 by guzie (2,460 points)  
I don't think he's a loser, and didn't say that he was. But the attitude displayed is a LOSER ATTITUDE. It will kill all chance for success. That doesn't mean the person is a loser in all aspects of life, just that the attitude that was displayed was bound to cause failure in his attempts at IM.

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0 votes
Interesting post. And so true. I feel any entrepreneur who has to blame others for not handing them what they want on a silver platter without doing work of their own will fail. This kind of makes me want to post the link of a video of a man named Nic who has no arms and no legs. One of his talks he gives has him falling over on stage and telling folks if they try 100 times to get up, then do not try any more, they will not get up. And he is right. And then he shows them how he can get upright again with much effort. One of the reasons I don't choose the best answer here to my questions is because folks can't give an answer after that. Everyone has input to give. It's only as valuable as we make it.
answered Sep 11, 2013 by geekability (18,680 points)  
0 votes
If that poster has that kind of question, then I may have answered harshly. If I did I would again.

It's not that I am better or anything. It's that when coaches, gurus, or industry leaders treat students with kid gloves they aren't helping.

Understanding is key, but The negative attitude shows that the person would not change their mind from outside sources, but needed some serious self talk.

Good bye to them and when they are truly ready; They'll be back.

Video Marketer and SEO Specialist

answered Sep 13, 2013 by Frank Schwarz (2,000 points)  
0 votes

Thanks for sharing this with the community because I think it is important, people need to realize that in life we will have ups and we will have downs,and although we may not see the success we expected at first it will come eventually. Like you mentioned we must keep pursuing our goals and not giving up on them. There will be people in our lives who try to get us to stop but we have to push past those limiting beliefs and stay motivated. Making money online is going to be a hard and bumpy road especially if one is following the wrong advice.

I agree that we need to surround ourselves around other successful people if we want to reap the same rewards. Not everyone is going to believe that Internet Marketing is real, they are going to cling to mis-information that they read or see online. That is why we have to stay focused and not get distracted by the naysayers. Like they said if it was that easy everyone would be doing it. but it is because it takes work, effort and persistance that only the true winners will stay the course long enough to see positive results.

Jon I am glad you started this question and answer forum because I have been a fan of yours for many years, I think I first came across your products and your blog about 3 years ago and during that time I have been playing around on the internet making some money and then after the google panda and penquins happened that little money I was making dried up, but it did not make me lose faith. I know that I can do it again, even if I have to start from scratch.

I am looking to this forum to help me get back on track, so I am very appreciative of the internet marketing community and all it has contributed to the web. Most people do not realize that it was internet marketers that made google the giants they are today, and it is internet marketers who continue to push youtube up higher and higher with all those product review videos. Basically I don't think the internet would exist if it wasn't for internet marketers coming up with clever ways to market products and services for themselves and small business owners.

The biggest scams to me is the banking institutions, education system and corporate america if that is not ripping people off I don't know what is. LOL

 


My Goal is to Earn $5,000 dollars a month in Residual Income on the Internet. I Claim ItThanks Everyone for your support, I appreciate it!

answered Sep 14, 2013 by webnews (2,080 points)  
0 votes
Some people are just.... wow.

To answer your question... Nope, I'm not a loser!  lol

Come by and say hello at MichaelDForbes.com

answered Sep 16, 2013 by Michael D. Forbes (6,880 points)  
0 votes
Yes it is a great question.

Woody Allen famously quoted "80% of success is showing up".

This is very relevant as I see so many people wanting to get it 100% before starting in IM.

You will never get it 100% so start now and makes some mistakes.

Most entrepeneurs say they have learnt more from their failures than their successes.

Enjoy it,keep going,don't be afraid to make some changes and you will get there as long as you believe it.
answered Sep 22, 2013 by johnboyhayes (14,220 points)  
0 votes
Thats it in a nutshell. Many sucessful people appear to be "hardboilded" but those are just "battle scars" from thier journey of self determination. This is an example of the sheer grit and determination to make sucesses happen. Make it happen! For many folks is does take a change in perspective and increased efforts to make it happen. Many times unfathomable and Herculean efforts to get to the other side, but once they do, they often have the "current" on their side, or to use another metaphor - the wind beneath their wings which would be learned experience and accomplished successes (auto correct is not on)
answered Sep 23, 2013 by Homebizipedia (5,630 points)  
0 votes
Personally, I don't think there is an absolute answer to this question.

This is because all of us have our strengths and weakness. Sometimes, we may feel like a loser because we focus on our weakness. Other times, we will act like a winner because we started focusing on our strength. For me, there are times when I think like a loser. But there are also times when I think like a winner.

The key here is to work on yourself every single day, so that you will spend the majority of the time thinking and acting like a winner.
answered Oct 7, 2013 by lubanolim (35,720 points)  
0 votes

Hi Jon,

You wrote the words of experience That I am experiencing still today at this humble and enlightening age of 60.

You're a winner. Be a winner. Think like a winner. And by all means ONLY hang out with people who have that same mentality.

Will you have failures? Yes.

Will you waste money and time trying? Yes.

Will there be heartbreaking moments when you want to give up? YES!

But you won't give up. When you fall down, you will get up. You will press on. You will do this because you are a winner and there is no other acceptable outcome. You must live your dream. You will.

It may no be the ultimate mantra but its the best choice Ive found.

 

Thank you and cheers

Tim

answered Oct 8, 2013 by checkin (370 points)  
0 votes

The answer is very simple and actually always the same: Blamers are losers. That's all.

It is aaalways, always, always the same. People who always blame others for everything, are those who will never ever make it. Because they blame instead to critic themselves in order to learn something in order to overcome the error in order to move forward.

Losers are blaming others for everything.

Winners are taking responsibility for everything.

Winners take responsibility for the decisions they made. Winners take responsibility for things that did not work out. Because if YOU are responsible for what is happening TO YOU - then this means that YOU are the one IN CONTROL!

Let me repeat: Taking responsibility for all your outcomes due to your decisions means that YOU are IN CONTROL ALL THE TIME!. Correct your decisions by learning from failures (like Edison), and you will CONSTANTLY MAKE PROGRESS! When you are responsible, that means you can control to change things the next time. THIS IS A POWERFUL SITUATION.

Losers are giving away power because blaming OTHERS means pushing away responsibility from themselves, blaming someone else is the same as saying someone ELSE did this to them, this means they give others control, that means they make themselves a VICTIM by thinking that way!

WINNERS are DOERS because they CONTROL what they do, and take responsibility for the results they produced!

Don't like your current results? Fine. Change what YOU are DOING! Correct the course. Only YOU can do it - And THEREFORE YOU WIN - because YOU get where YOU WANT TO GET, when nobody else controls your actions.

 

LOSERS = blame = give away the power of control = victimize themselves = selfpity = stagnation = frustration = weakness = hating everything = depression


A WINNER = takes responsibility = this makes him/her be in control = which allows to decide on corrections = moving forward ANYwhere you want!

 

 

 

 


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answered Oct 9, 2013 by smartbiz (3,100 points)  
edited Oct 9, 2013 by smartbiz
0 votes
Just wanna write this to express my sincere thanks to your kind words Jon.

That's a great story and motivation. It truly touches my heart and reminds me of what I HAVE TO REMEMBER in order to succeed online in particular and in life in general.

Thanks again Jon.

"We Will Become What We Think About"

answered Oct 28, 2013 by Blue Spring (8,310 points)  
0 votes
This is particularly an eye opener, considering that there are also people who look for shorcut ways (incuding me) in getting success, and fail to follow their dreams, when they find none.

 

I have learned my lessons by sharing some of my thoughts and getting positive but truthful remarks from the members here. People really need to eradicate their shortcomings as well, in order to be a winner.

 

Thanks
answered Dec 5, 2013 by Frendz (7,530 points)  
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